If you hate Thanksgiving turkey, your gravy sucks (11-27-2024--Hour3)

[00:00:04] What's going on? Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. It is heard live every day from noon to 3 on WBT Radio in Charlotte. And if you want exclusive content like invitations to events, the weekly live stream, my daily show prep with all the links, become a patron, go to ThePeteKalinerShow.com. Make sure you hit the subscribe button, get every episode for free, write to your smartphone or tablet. And again, thank you so much for your support.

[00:00:29] All right, so let me get to some messages and such. This is from Kim. It's a Pete tweet. She says, this is so wonderful. What a great storyteller Rush is. Rush Limbaugh, I played his Thanksgiving, his last Thanksgiving show that he did before he died, where he told the story of the pilgrims.

[00:00:54] And I had never heard, before I had heard Rush Limbaugh do that years ago, because he has done it like every year. He did every year for like 30 years. I had never heard the information that he provided about the pilgrims. And so I went back and looked at, you know, read up on more of that stuff.

[00:01:16] And now, like, it's America's origin story. And it has been edited. And I just think that it's important to kind of keep that going and keep telling that story.

[00:01:34] So, uh, I also said, you know what, I miss hearing Rush and I miss hearing him tell that story. So I went and found audio of him telling that story the last time he told it. And so I played that in the first hour, which I did see this, that Joe is mad because he says, first I stole, it's a Pete mail.

[00:01:51] And now he's got a, and now he's got a trademarked apparently in his email here. Um, and now you steal Rush's Thanksgiving segment. Can you please be creative, Pete? Uh, no. Um, I made no promises. I wouldn't steal material. Give me a break. I don't even know you, uh, Joe, if that is your real name. I've never even seen a trademark before. What's a trademark? I've never heard the term. Anyway. Um, no, he, look, you stole Pete mail from Pete tweets. So we're even. Okay.

[00:02:21] So Kim says, uh, in a, yeah, in a tweet, this is so wonderful. Rush. Uh, what a great storyteller rush is. Thank you. And happy Thanksgiving to you and all your family and friends, uh, to you as well, Kim. I appreciate that. And Scott said, uh, Hey Pete, I love that you are replaying Rush's real story of the first Thanksgiving. I loved listening to it over the years. Rush was the best. I completely agree. Um, and that's also why I play it is because

[00:02:51] he was the best and you know, I, I'm, I miss hearing him tell the story. So, um, let me see here. I have another on the subject of Thanksgiving. Could you relate to us how the Turkey became the official symbol? I know Ben Franklin was noted for wanting the Turkey to be our national bird back then. If that had occurred, would we still be having it for dinner?

[00:03:18] Anyway, you and the jam have a very large Turkey day, I guess. Um, yeah, I don't know. I'm glad we don't have the Turkey as the national bird.

[00:03:33] Because then like, would we have to, well, I don't know. Maybe the country of Turkey would never have come around and said, Hey, they want to, you know, reinterpret their pronunciation to Turkey or whatever they're going with now. If we had done. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if we would be eating it. I do know this.

[00:03:49] That, um, apparently the least favorite food on the Thanksgiving table is Turkey, which I find to be a bit outrageous. There's nothing wrong with Turkey. I don't know why people don't eat Turkey more often. And I'm not talking cold cut Turkey. I'm saying like the bird itself. I know it's kind of persnickety to cook takes a while and that sort of thing.

[00:04:10] I was also told years ago by a grocery store chain, big wig that, uh, turkeys are a loss leader for them all year long. They lose money on turkeys all year long, except for right now.

[00:04:29] This is where they make it all back. So they have to keep turkeys stocked all year long, right? But this is the time that the Turkey makes its money back.

[00:04:38] Um, but apparently according to a new survey by the vacation website called the vacationer, 35% of Americans consider Turkey to be their least favorite food at the feast, which like, hello, the, the can of cranberries are right.

[00:05:05] The cranberry Jell-O thing is right there. Like howdy, how does Turkey, how does Turkey get a worse rating? You know what that tells me? You don't have good gravy. That's what that tells me. If you hate the Turkey so much, that means your gravy is crap. That's what it tells me.

[00:05:22] The survey was conducted, uh, by polling, uh, by polling 1042 American adults asking which traditional Thanksgiving foods they dislike. And coming in number one was Turkey coming in number two, just barely at 32% stuffing slash dressing.

[00:05:44] And this, that's right. This raises the annual argument. Is it stuffing or is it dressing? I have covered this for years. I have made my case for years. It is a soundproof case, airtight or whatever you want to call it, but it's a solid case.

[00:06:08] It's stuffing. You can come up with a different word for whatever the other stuff is. I'm fine with that. But I feel like, I feel like the word dressing is stolen.

[00:06:24] And maybe that is in the grand tradition of America itself, but with stealing all of the land and such, but maybe, I don't know, come up with a different word. Like you can call it like, I don't know, Turkey side piece or something. I don't care. You call it something else. It's not, it's not dressing. Dressing is a condiment.

[00:06:51] I'm sorry, but it is, it's a condiment, ranch dressing, blue cheese dressing, Russian dressing, right? That's all dressing. It's stuff that goes on. It's a, it's a, it's a sauce or something that goes on top.

[00:07:06] Now, I was informed this morning that apparently Wallet Hub, who puts out ridiculous lists, they put out a list and they claim that the number, I think their number two side dish is number one in North Carolina.

[00:07:23] It's like a state by state breakdown of the favorite side dishes. And they base this stuff on like Google searches and stuff, which like, I don't think that that's an accurate way to measure favorite side dishes.

[00:07:34] Because all it tells me is that people don't know how to make stuffing or, you know, Turkey side piece or whatever. Like they don't, that's why they're Googling it. Although I do have questions why so many people would Google mashed potatoes. Like really? It's a potato. And you just mash it down. Like in its, and it's like truest essence. That's it. You'd like the name is the process. I know you got to add milk and butter.

[00:08:02] And that's really about it though. Right? You add a little bit of milk, you add a little bit of butter or a lot of butter and salt to taste. That's like, you can get crazy with it if you want. But this idea that, oh, well, because this was the number one side dish in North Carolina was mashed potatoes.

[00:08:22] Because more people are Googling for mashed potatoes. It tells me that apparently we don't know how to cook mashed potatoes. You open the box, you pour it into the boiling water and boom. I'm just kidding. Although that is what we ate growing up. That was our mashed potato spread.

[00:08:41] But the number two, you know what the number two was on this stupid list of side dishes. I was informed. So every Wednesday morning I joined my old stomping grounds up in Asheville.

[00:08:56] I go on the radio station up there in the mornings and I was informed this morning by Mark Starling, the morning guy, that this survey by WalletHub put North Carolina's second most popular side dish as gravy.

[00:09:15] Gravy. Gravy. As a side dish? No. No. Gravy is not a side dish. If you want to say it's a soup, I'm open to this argument. I mean, the doctor told me as he did Homer Simpson, got to get eight ounces of gravy a day.

[00:09:40] But I, I under no circumstances would ever agree that gravy is a side dish. Somebody then sent me a photo of gravy that's like frozen and it's in this little mold.

[00:09:54] So it looks almost like they put it in a bowl and it froze and they turned it over and then they adorned it with like a strawberry, a little sprig of parsley or something or mint and a little whipped cream or something on the top.

[00:10:08] Like that's dessert now. Like if you have, if you have frozen gravy into some sort of like an ice cream kind of thing, that's, that's still not a side dish. That's dessert.

[00:10:20] As gravy can be when warm or room temperature. Doesn't matter. Like gravy can be dessert as well.

[00:10:27] I am also open to the argument that gravy is a condiment. That makes sense as well.

[00:10:33] As a side dish. No, no side dishes do not get drizzled on other side dishes, right? You like that's not how that works, but it is wallet hub. So they put out ridiculous lists for over a month.

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[00:11:53] Alright, so Russ is taking umbrage at my slam on the crayon.

[00:11:59] Blasphemy, Pete. Cranberry jelly from the can is a tradition going all the way back to the pilgrims.

[00:12:08] I don't know if that's true. It sounds true, though.

[00:12:13] Still, I don't even know if you would call that thing a jelly.

[00:12:16] I don't think that counts as jelly. I mean, it's the closest thing I can think of to call it.

[00:12:20] The stuff that comes out of the can with the

[00:12:23] sound, you know,

[00:12:24] pops out.

[00:12:26] And then you slice the thing so you end up with these discs of

[00:12:30] cranberry.

[00:12:30] I guess it is jelly because if you take your fork to it and kind of smoosh it down, it'll

[00:12:35] resemble

[00:12:35] jelly.

[00:12:36] So I guess that is a jelly.

[00:12:37] And that's all I ever knew.

[00:12:39] Like, it wasn't until I want to say, I don't know, 32 years, 33 years old or so when I learned

[00:12:48] that like cranberry sauce is actually with like these little things that look like cherries,

[00:12:54] these red little orbs.

[00:12:56] I had no idea.

[00:12:58] I thought cranberry.

[00:13:01] Gel.

[00:13:02] That's the OK.

[00:13:03] All right.

[00:13:03] So this is a sidebar here as well.

[00:13:05] Why is it called cranberry sauce?

[00:13:07] That is not a sauce.

[00:13:08] OK, that that gelatinous form means it's not a sauce.

[00:13:14] A sauce gets drizzled over stuff.

[00:13:16] Why is this such a problem for us in America to have words that actually mean things like

[00:13:22] this?

[00:13:24] Now, people would say, and I've heard this argument, well, that's stuffing because it's

[00:13:28] stuffed inside the bird.

[00:13:29] That's true.

[00:13:30] But it was called that because that's what people put in there to kind of pad it out because

[00:13:34] bread was cheap.

[00:13:35] You know, you just stuff it all into the bird.

[00:13:37] Now, I've even seen a video making the rounds this week of some woman who stuffed the bird

[00:13:42] with Velveeta cheese, which sounds amazing.

[00:13:46] And she's getting all this grief on social media.

[00:13:48] People are attacking her.

[00:13:49] I find it to be completely unfair because you take just melted, you know, gooey Velveeta

[00:13:56] cheese and she just pours it right into this turkey and then puts a little bit on top and

[00:14:02] then bakes the turkey.

[00:14:04] And it looked amazing.

[00:14:06] It looked amazing.

[00:14:09] I would eat it.

[00:14:11] I mean, who doesn't like turkey and cheese?

[00:14:13] It's a sandwich for crying out loud.

[00:14:16] Minus the bread, which then makes it not a sandwich.

[00:14:19] But still.

[00:14:20] I've heard this argument.

[00:14:22] Dressing goes is on the side.

[00:14:23] It's cornmeal based.

[00:14:24] Look, that's fine.

[00:14:25] My beef is not like it's a separate product.

[00:14:28] There's the cornmeal kind of stuffing facsimile.

[00:14:33] Like just come up with a different word than dressing.

[00:14:35] Like cornmeal crumble or something.

[00:14:38] Like how about that?

[00:14:38] The cornmeal crumble.

[00:14:40] Just don't call it dressing because dressing means something else.

[00:14:44] You know, you put dressing on food.

[00:14:47] It's a liquid.

[00:14:49] Dressing can also be soup sometimes too.

[00:14:51] That's fair.

[00:14:52] Okay.

[00:14:53] Look, if you're desperate, you're really hungry and all you got in the fridge is a jar of ranch,

[00:14:58] that's soup.

[00:14:59] Okay.

[00:15:00] Circumstances may vary.

[00:15:01] All right.

[00:15:01] Hey, real quick.

[00:15:02] If you would like to get your product or service in front of about 10,000 people multiple times a day,

[00:15:08] send me an email at Pete at the Pete Calendar Show dot com and ask me about advertising.

[00:15:13] It's super affordable.

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[00:15:17] And podcasts have a higher conversion rate than other social media platforms,

[00:15:20] making it the best bang for your buck.

[00:15:22] Send me a message.

[00:15:23] Pete at the Pete Calendar Show dot com and I can show you how it works.

[00:15:27] Run the numbers with you.

[00:15:28] Again, that's Pete at the Pete Calendar Show dot com.

[00:15:32] Email is Pete at the Pete Calendar Show dot com.

[00:15:35] And on Twitter at Pete Calendar and that's K-A-L-I-N-E-R.

[00:15:40] I do have a call here from Craig.

[00:15:43] Hello, Craig.

[00:15:44] Welcome to the program.

[00:15:46] Pete, young man.

[00:15:47] Yes, sir.

[00:15:48] Good to talk with you.

[00:15:48] But I want you to know that you can do that sound of the cranberry sauce coming out of that can

[00:15:55] anytime you want to.

[00:15:57] That is probably the most realistic sound I've ever heard anyone do before.

[00:16:02] And it just about ran me off the road.

[00:16:04] I was laughing so hard.

[00:16:05] Well, it was just spur of the moment.

[00:16:07] I have no training whatsoever in the cranberry jelly jam sound.

[00:16:13] So, yeah, I appreciate that.

[00:16:15] I'm glad my I'm glad my art is appreciated before I die.

[00:16:19] I could see you sitting there at your desk and you did the hand motion as you did it.

[00:16:23] I did make the sound even more realistic.

[00:16:25] Oh, I debated for a split second whether I put the finger in the mouth to make the pop.

[00:16:30] And then I decided, no, I'm just going to go fingerless, you know.

[00:16:34] Well, and so I'm glad it worked.

[00:16:36] You did perfect.

[00:16:36] All right.

[00:16:37] Thanks.

[00:16:37] I appreciate it, Craig.

[00:16:39] Happy Thanksgiving.

[00:16:40] All right.

[00:16:41] Oh, I think he said you too.

[00:16:43] Or you stink.

[00:16:44] I'm not sure.

[00:16:45] Probably you too, though.

[00:16:48] Russ says, wow, I have heard the, you know, in the bird, out of the bird argument on the dressing versus stuffing for years.

[00:16:58] This may be the first time I've ever heard the condiment argument.

[00:17:02] So would you dip fries in it, spread it on a hot dog or hamburger?

[00:17:07] This is talking about gravy.

[00:17:09] So gravy as a condiment.

[00:17:11] Well, because we know it's not a side dish as Wallet Hub tried to tell us.

[00:17:16] That is not, it's not a side dish.

[00:17:21] Is it a condiment?

[00:17:23] Yes.

[00:17:23] I could call it, I would call it a condiment.

[00:17:27] Also sometimes soup.

[00:17:29] But a lot of things could pass as soup.

[00:17:30] Like, for example, the stuff that comes out of the bottom of the dishwasher after you run a load.

[00:17:35] Like, that could be soup too.

[00:17:37] It's all, it's like a how hungry are you kind of a standard.

[00:17:43] So, can you dip fries in it?

[00:17:45] Absolutely.

[00:17:46] I believe that's what they founded Canada for.

[00:17:49] Like, that's their mission statement, right?

[00:17:52] Isn't that the deal up there?

[00:17:54] They dip their fries in gravy.

[00:17:58] And, oh, sorry, they're chips.

[00:18:01] They call them chips, not fries.

[00:18:04] Spread it on a hot dog, naturally, or a hamburger, of course.

[00:18:08] All right, look.

[00:18:10] Look, any argument that anybody might have against putting gravy on a hamburger is out the window when you put an egg on a hamburger.

[00:18:18] I'm not saying you shouldn't.

[00:18:20] I like it.

[00:18:21] I like having an egg on a hamburger just as much as anybody else.

[00:18:24] But you don't get to then argue that you can't put gravy on a hamburger.

[00:18:27] I mean, that's, why not?

[00:18:30] Of course you could.

[00:18:31] I think it depends on the gravy, you know.

[00:18:34] Because some might not, it might not taste, some of the flavors might not work well with each other.

[00:18:38] I mean, I'm not an animal here.

[00:18:41] Let's see here.

[00:18:42] Jonathan says, wait, getting, I don't understand.

[00:18:50] Oh, that's funny about that lady getting flack for putting cheese in a turkey,

[00:18:55] but somebody will stuff a beer can up a chicken butt and put it on the grill and let all the plastic inside the can marinate the chicken.

[00:19:04] I have not seen.

[00:19:04] Is that a thing people are doing?

[00:19:06] Putting cans of beer up inside a chicken or a turkey?

[00:19:13] That's nuts.

[00:19:14] I would not do that.

[00:19:16] Jules.

[00:19:17] It's a Pete tweet.

[00:19:19] Jules says, most Southerners would list dressing and gravy as one and two on the list.

[00:19:26] I'm not sure which list.

[00:19:27] Because I mentioned two lists.

[00:19:29] One list is the least favorite.

[00:19:31] And the number one least favorite, so the food that people hate the most, is turkey.

[00:19:36] Which, they're not Americans, obviously.

[00:19:39] Number two is stuffing slash dressing.

[00:19:43] So these people put stuffing and dressing together.

[00:19:45] That's what I objected to.

[00:19:47] The other, oh, and then number three.

[00:19:49] You know what the third least favorite food on the table is?

[00:19:55] Ham.

[00:19:57] Ham.

[00:19:58] What are you people eating?

[00:20:02] And then there's sweet potatoes or yams.

[00:20:06] Then there's cranberry sauce.

[00:20:08] And that launched me into my rant against calling it sauce.

[00:20:12] Because it's not sauce.

[00:20:13] Sauce should be a liquid.

[00:20:15] Not a gelatinous texture.

[00:20:19] Number six.

[00:20:21] Least favorite, green bean casserole.

[00:20:24] So basically 23% of people say their least favorite food is the green bean casserole.

[00:20:30] 22% say mashed potatoes.

[00:20:32] Least favorite.

[00:20:34] Also 22% say coleslaw.

[00:20:39] Coleslaw?

[00:20:41] Coleslaw.

[00:20:41] Who the hell is putting coleslaw on the Thanksgiving table?

[00:20:46] Again, I like coleslaw.

[00:20:48] Does it belong at the Thanksgiving table?

[00:20:50] I don't think so.

[00:20:52] I don't think so.

[00:20:53] You take that cabbage, you turn it red, and you have it swimming around in a bunch of red liquid.

[00:20:58] That's the way you eat cabbage at Thanksgiving.

[00:21:01] I think.

[00:21:03] Pumpkin pie.

[00:21:04] Okay, I'm out.

[00:21:05] Like, okay.

[00:21:06] Now you're putting desserts into the mix?

[00:21:08] That doesn't.

[00:21:09] You can't.

[00:21:10] That's a different table setting.

[00:21:12] Because that's just like.

[00:21:13] No one's putting the pumpkin pie out with the turkey, are they?

[00:21:16] No, you wait for the dessert after the meal.

[00:21:22] That's.

[00:21:22] You can't.

[00:21:23] You can't.

[00:21:25] I'm scribbling this one out.

[00:21:26] Pumpkin pie is a dessert.

[00:21:27] It's off the list.

[00:21:29] 16% say carrots.

[00:21:31] Really.

[00:21:32] Carrots.

[00:21:33] Carrots.

[00:21:34] They do better than turkey.

[00:21:36] Among the least.

[00:21:37] So, people are like, no, no, no.

[00:21:38] Give me the carrots.

[00:21:40] Don't give me the ham.

[00:21:41] Really.

[00:21:42] Maybe RFK is already making a difference.

[00:21:45] I don't know.

[00:21:45] People eating carrots over, like, stuffing.

[00:21:48] It's mac and cheese.

[00:21:52] Only 16% say it's their least favorite.

[00:21:56] Corn.

[00:21:57] Corn.

[00:21:57] 15%.

[00:21:58] And apple pie.

[00:22:00] Again, that's a dessert.

[00:22:01] You're off the list.

[00:22:02] Okay.

[00:22:03] Now, 12% of the people that were part of this survey by The Vacationer, they said, none of

[00:22:10] these on the list.

[00:22:10] I like them all.

[00:22:12] Aw.

[00:22:14] The results of the survey were then analyzed by Eric Jones, an assistant professor of

[00:22:20] mathematics at Rowan College of South Jersey.

[00:22:24] He said, one of the biggest takeaways from the survey results is the changing appetites

[00:22:29] across generations.

[00:22:30] Older Americans over the age of 60 are the least picky eaters.

[00:22:35] Saying that younger Americans have constantly had more choices throughout their lives, especially

[00:22:42] with food.

[00:22:42] So they don't feel obligated to eat something they might not like or even to pretend to like

[00:22:49] it.

[00:22:49] Selfish brats.

[00:22:51] He said, Americans over the age of 60 are also the most likely to enjoy turkey.

[00:22:56] It's like a 13 point spread between those over 60 and those younger than 60 who say they

[00:23:05] dislike turkey.

[00:23:07] Then they interview some people that make other kinds of protein dishes and they're like,

[00:23:12] oh, rib roasts and beef roasts and pork roasts.

[00:23:15] And apparently duck is becoming a popular alternative to turkey.

[00:23:20] Duck.

[00:23:20] Duck.

[00:23:23] Have you ever seen a duck big enough to feed a Thanksgiving?

[00:23:28] You're going to have to be cooking multiple ducks and then you're going to have to explain

[00:23:32] it to the young kids table, right?

[00:23:35] To the kiddie table.

[00:23:36] You're going to have to explain why they're eating the thing that they were feeding in

[00:23:41] the pond just last weekend.

[00:23:44] I don't want to have that conversation.

[00:23:47] In my opinion, Americans below 60 years old are more likely to be hosting Thanksgiving now,

[00:23:51] so they are less likely to feel obligated to have turkey and thus less likely to feed

[00:23:56] it to their children.

[00:23:57] This will continue the trend of turkey losing prominence and not being preferred.

[00:24:01] So what this tells me now, apparently, is we're going to have to be doing pardons for

[00:24:05] pigs and cows and ducks.

[00:24:08] This is going to get ridiculous, OK?

[00:24:11] The White House is going to look like a farm.

[00:24:13] They're going to have so much livestock out there with pardons getting handed out.

[00:24:17] Ooh, this does mean, oh, they missed a great opportunity.

[00:24:20] Could have snuck Hunter Biden right through with a whole bunch of farm animals, you know,

[00:24:23] and pardon, pardon, pardon, pardon, pardon.

[00:24:25] Look at that.

[00:24:25] Hunter Biden got partied.

[00:24:26] That could have missed opportunity.

[00:24:28] It could have happened.

[00:24:29] Howard said gravy on a hamburger is called meatloaf.

[00:24:35] And that is true.

[00:24:36] That is true.

[00:24:37] Thank you, Howard.

[00:24:41] Let's see here.

[00:24:42] I am aware of how the, quote, dressing is made.

[00:24:45] My beef is with the name of the word, right?

[00:24:49] Condiments have to be liquidy and dressing has to be some liquid.

[00:24:53] It's not dressing can't be a firm thing.

[00:24:56] That's the rule.

[00:24:57] All right.

[00:24:57] That'll do it for this episode.

[00:24:59] Thank you so much for listening.

[00:25:00] I could not do the show without your support and the support of the businesses that advertise

[00:25:04] on the podcast.

[00:25:05] So if you'd like, please support them, too, and tell them you heard it here.

[00:25:09] You can also become a patron at my Patreon page or go to thepetecalendershow.com.

[00:25:14] Again, thank you so much for listening.

[00:25:16] And don't break anything while I'm gone.